These past few years of being a Single In the City girl, have taught me a lot about love, lust, the nature of a men and most importantly, Myself. I’ve learned that I will go to the ends of the Earth in pursuit of love. I have learned that just because I am brutally honest, not every man has conquered that art. I’ve also become a resident expert at the Law of Detachment.
The Law of Detachment is in fact the ass opposite of the Law of Attraction. (PLEASE see http://www.chopra.com/laws/detachment). As single people, we ultimately want to solidify our career paths, make sure our families are okay, find an amazing partner, marry, etc. I’ve learned that by following the Law Of Detachment, I could live a more fulfilled DAILY existence. Without force from me, situations always have a way of working themselves out harmoniously.
I’ve had to practice the Law of Detachment A LOT in the dating world! I find that us ladies will meet a man and upon 1st sight we are capable of determining his level of financial stability, envisioning our wedding to this man and what our kids will look like…..all in a matter of moments! Ultimately a woman’s nature is to seek a partner that can provide and bring home the bacon. This goes back to the caveman days. In this day and age, this is a disastrous way of thinking because a woman will tend to give a man the rights and privileges of a potential mate without qualifying him 1st.
Men on the other hand, tend to be able to see things rationally. They want to casually date you, as well as other women. Men have a tendency to put us ladies in a line up, unbeknownst to us. They give us all enough to stay around while they make an executive decision on who should win the Grand Prize. Men have the ability to make several woman at one time feel like Queens. Afterall, a man’s purpose is to populate the Earth……why you think a lady can only bear 1 child per year, yet HE can potentially impregnate 365 women per year? This also goes back to the caveman days too! It is innate in his nature to want to seek out a mate that will give him big, strong offspring and take care of his needs….eventually. Most men, especially alpha males only consider settling down when fatherhood enters the back of their minds. I’ve heard so many men say, “I don’t want to be too old when I start a family. I want to play football with my sons.” When he says, he wants to settle down, he means, he readying you to be a vessel in which to procreate. Now do not get me wrong, he will honor and provide for you, but know the primary physiological reason behind his statement.
As women, we must equip ourselves with enough knowledge to play the game and play to win! Ultimately, we are the one’s with biological clocks, we’re the ones that will get stretch marks, abused breasts and noses that will resemble bell peppers during pregnancy! Women have to take 6 weeks off from work after childbirth. Our careers must be placed at a lower priority when we become wives and mothers. If you realize the sacrifice that you will ultimately have to make for this man, you would chose your partners far more wisely. Detach yourself from what YOU WANT as the ultimate outcome when initially meeting a potential partner. We blind ourselves with fairytales and we overlook reality. We allow men to drop QUALIFYING lines on us that give give us hope for the future. I cannot count how many times a man has talked about our marriage (one day), our kids (one day), or what he will give me (one day). I used to thrive on these words and men know how to use them like hanging a raw steak in front of a hungry dog! Don’t let the qualifying lines turn you into a rabid beast that lies in wait for this man to finally throw you that bone.
In the meantime, go enjoy all of the trappings of youth, beauty and being a single woman. Date for recreation not procreation. Trust that your time will come when things are properly aligned. Protect your body and your and guard your heart. Most importantly, detach without being a cold bitch, hope without losing yourself in a future that he has not physically put effort into, love as if you’ve never been hurt before and plant a permanent SMILE ON YOUR FACE, men love a woman that always looks pleasant.
The Think like a Man concept is cute, but I’m NOT A DAMN MAN! I can only think like one, but when it’s time for action, my delivery is all girly.